Like bad smells, uninvited weekend guests or very old eggs, there are some things that ought to be avoided.
Snicket's saga about the charming, intelligent, and grossly unlucky Baudelaire orphans continues to alarm its distressed and suspicious fans the world over. The 10th book in this outrageous publishing effort features more than the usual dose of distressing details, such as snow gnats, an organised troupe of youngsters, an evil villain with a dastardly plan, a secret headquarters and some dangerous antics you should not try at home. With the weather turning colder, this is one chilling book you would be better off without.
Ages 10+
A man of my acquaintance once wrote a poemcalled "The Road Less Traveled," describing ajourney he took through the woods along a pathmost travelers never used.The poet found thatthe road less traveled was peaceful but quitelonely,and he was probably a bit nervous as hewent along, because if anything happened onthe road less traveled, the other travelers wouldbe on the road more frequently traveled and socouldn't hear him as he cried for help. Sureenough, that poet is now dead.
Like a dead poet, this book can be said tobe on the road less traveled, because it beginswith the three Baudelaire children on a path leading through the Mortmain Mountains, whichis not a popular destination for travelers, and itends in the churning waters of the StrickenStream, which few travelers even go near. Butthis book is also on the road less traveled, because unlike books most people prefer, whichprovide comforting and entertaining tales aboutcharming people and talking animals, the taleyou are reading now is nothing but distressingand unnerving, and the people unfortunateenough to be in the story are far more desperate and frantic than charming, and I would prefer to not speak about the animals at all. For thatreason, I can no more suggest the reading of thiswoeful book than I can recommend wanderingaround the woods by yourself, because like theroad less traveled, this book is likely to makeyou feel lonely, miserable, and in need of help.
The Baudelaire orphans, however, had nochoice but to be on the road less traveled. Violet and Klaus, the two elder Baudelaires, werein a caravan, traveling very quickly along the high mountain path. Neither Violet, who wasfourteen, nor Klaus, who had recently turnedthirteen, had ever thought they would findthemselves on this road, except perhaps withtheir parents on a family vacation. But theBaudelaire parents were nowhere to be foundafter a terrible fire destroyed their home -- although the children had reason to believe thatone parent may not have died in the blaze afterall -- and the caravan was not heading up theMortmain Mountains, toward a secret headquarters the siblings had heard about and were hoping to find. The caravan was heading down the Mortmain Mountains, very quickly, with no wayto control or stop its journey, so Violet and Klausfelt more like fish in a stormy sea than travelerson a vacation.
But Sunny Baudelaire was in a situation thatcould be said to be even more desperate. Sunnywas the youngest Baudelaire, still learning tospeak in a way that everyone could understand, so she scarcely had words for how frightened she was. Sunny was traveling uphill, toward theheadquarters in the Mortmain Mountains, in anautomobile that was working perfectly, but thedriver of the automobile was a man who wasreason enough for being terrified. Some peoplecalled this man wicked. Some called him facinorous, which is a fancy word for "wicked." Buteveryone called him Count Olaf, unless he waswearing one of his ridiculous disguises andmaking people call him a false name. CountOlaf was an actor, but he had largely abandonedhis theatrical career to try to steal the enormousfortune the Baudelaire parents had left behind. Olaf's schemes to get the fortune had beenmean-spirited and particularly complicated, butnevertheless he had managed to attract a girlfriend, a villainous and stylish woman namedEsmé Squalor, who was sitting next to CountOlaf in the car, cackling nastily and clutchingSunny on her lap. Also in the car were severalemployees of Olaf's, including a man withhooks instead of hands, two women who liked to wear white powder all over their faces, andthree new comrades Olaf had recently recruitedat Caligari Carnival. The Baudelaire childrenhad been...
